Radiation

Went to the Radiation Doctor today. It was a "planning day". Took three hours total. First, laying on a cold, hard slab of a machine on which they twisted me like a pretzel, to determine what position would give them the best shot at radiation...of course, it the "most uncomfortable one.

Then I got five "tatoos". Which are the size of the tip of a pen. * about that big. This is so they can always zero-in on the same places each time.

They took pics from the machine, and when all done with me, sent me to another part of Mercy Hospital to have another CT scan...this time I didn't have to drink anything, or have anything put in my veins. So now, I begin radiation next Wednesday. 20 minute sessions five days a week for six weeks. YAY!

(Can you denote a bit of sarcasm?)

I have to say, he did put me at ease about the radiation treatments, though. He said the main side effects are some fatigue, and skin "irritation". Of course, that varies with each person. It is cumulative, so it gets worse as the treatments continue. But he assured me that the fatigue won't be anything worse than what I have already experienced with chemo. I may need to use creams on the skin. He said it's like a "sunburn" we shall see.

So, I'm on to another phase in the saga of getting through this. I SO want to be done and on with my life. In the meanwhile, I shall find some useful ways to use my time when I am not napping.

Love to All,

Mary

Better News Today!

I went to the Radiology Dept. at Mercy Hospital Today, to get my CT Scan. And then I went to my oncolgist to get my shot. I asked them when the results would come back from the CT Scan and the nurse said, I would probably have a consultation with the doctor next week.

That seems like an eternity, when you are nervous about the news. I got home later this afternoon and got a call from the doctor's office. She said the test came back clear. It appears there were other issues they were concerned about, but the CT Scan was clean and she said I will not be seeing them for a while. This was good news. I am officially done with chemo now, and will start radiation as planned.

Just wanted to update you in case any of you were concerned about my post the other day.

Love to all,

Mary

Not So Good News

I am officially bummed-out. I went into my "last" chemo with high hopes. I told you about the blood test I had last week to check for "cancer markers" in the blood. Well, apparently, the numbers have gone up, and the better scenario is that they should be going down.

Needless to say, this was not good news, nor was it expected. It felt like a punch in the stomach. When I asked her what this will mean, she said, "Don't worry, we have ways to help you." I asked what that meant, and she said, "There is chemo, and other drugs that we can use to treat it." SO, long story short, I may be facing more drugs and/or chemo...did not want to hear that.

Let me back up this day a bit...Last night I lay awake for hours before I finally fell asleep about 4:00 am. It was like my brain was on high rev and I could not shut it down. Even that short 3 hours of sleep (which was supposed to be eight) was interrupted by a bathroom break. SO, I awoke to the alarm at seven o'clock, exhausted. Took a shower, dressed and dragged myself to chemo. I felt at a disadvantage going into it, and then the bad news did not help my mental state.

Thank goodness they shot me full of Benedryl, and that knocked me out for several hours during my treatment. I must admit, I am struggling with this new development. Really don't relish the thought of going through more drugs, etc. Feeling fatigued and sick is getting OLD.

Maybe in a few days, I'll develop a better attitude. Right now, I am discouraged.

Love to all,

Mary

Anticipating the END

...Not of me, just the chemo. I went into the Dr. yesterday and they took some blood to do a test to find "cancer markers". Not sure what they will find, but it is not an all-inclusive test, because there are some cancers that don't leave markers in the blood. But it is just one more way to keep on top of it. Will be having a CT scan on Dec. 28th, and that will tell me more of my progress.

I am looking forward to getting Monday over with. My last chemo. I am finally feeling on the up-side of the previous round. The deep ache didn't hit me today. I got some cleaning done, and tomorrow my goal is to put up my Christmas Tree! Have been having a hard time getting into the Spirit of the Season. Have been feeling a bit low. I'm hoping the tree and my Nativity Scene will be a better reminder.

By the time Christmas rolls around, I may be feeling a bit more decent, and that will help. I have been cleaning out my art supplies, and it has seemed overwhelming. But today, I got through the last of the pile, threw some junk out, fixed a box of stuff to give away, and have a nice pile for the Salvation Army started. It feels good.

While digging out the art supplies, I happened upon my unpainted plaster houses, etc. So, in between all the de-cluttering, I have begun painting the houses. I have finished two now, and hope to get a few more done for Christmas. It keeps me from feeling yucky. I feel like my real self with a paint brush in my hand!

Love to All,
Mary

Getting Closer to Normal

Today was my second-to-last chemo. I really don't mind chemo days, because I generally feel pretty good for the first two days of it. I just sit in a comfy chair while the drugs drip into my veins via the port. Today was a bit of a shocker for me. I put the numbing cream on the port site well before leaving home, as I have always done. For some reason, it didn't "take". When the nurse stuck the BIG needle in, it hurt like the Dickens! (usually don't feel a thing) I let out a loud holler, and immediately felt embarrassed by it. It startled the nurse, but ultimately, we were all laughing about it.

Then, she couldn't get a blood-draw from the port, because it had become clogged, so she ended up putting a special drug in there to break up the clot (or whatever) and then sticking a needle into my arm anyway. The blood-draw is the first thing they always do right after I get there. It has to be analized (I am amazed at how quickly they get the results printed-out!) because then I have to go talk to the Doctor or her assistant, to review my case and how I'm handling the chemo. If my blood count is too low, they can't give me chemo until it gets up to normal. Mostly, they are concerned with the White blood cell count.

Well, apparently, I have some good blood, and her assessment of my case was very positive. My cell counts are above average. That is the main reason why I am having chemo every two weeks. If the cell count is down, they have to have more time in between treatments. The way I am doing it, I have the best chance for the drugs to do their dirty work and kill off all the nasty cancer cells, because we are hitting them hard and often. It gives them less of a chance of coming back.

I have a visualization of Pirates (the drugs) coming down the nets and ropes and sails to attack the cancer cells (enemy pirates) and they kill them and and then throw them overboard. It's all very loud and nasty in my head while this is going on, with the sound of swords clanginig and Pirates yelling, "Rrrrrrrrrrrrr! Die cancer cells, DIE!" Works for me!

Tomorrow I get my shot, and then another blood draw in-between now and my last day of chemo on the 12th of December. I have a CT scan on the 28th of December to see my progress. Sometime the next week ( the first week of the new year) I will begin radiation.

I have been keeping busy in the meanwhile with my cards, and making things for my granddaughters and cleaning up and throwing stuff out. I can manage a little bit at a time, in-between rests and naps.

Love to ALL!

Mary

Better This Time

The Oncologist lowered the dose of the chemo drug last Monday, and although I have had some aches and pains, it is nowhere near as severe as last time. I have only had to take a minimal amount of pain medication. That is encouraging. I am looking forward to being done with this part of the process.

I have been keeping busy with my Cricut machine, which is a paper die cut machine. I just made a set of Nativity Figures that I will laminate and send to my Granddaughter, FIona to use as refrigerator magnets. It keeps my mind and hands busy. I am also working on some larger decorations for hanging on the girls' bedroom wall.

This week, my goal is to go through my craft materials and get rid of things I am not currently using. I have years of materials I have collected, and I am thinking realistically about the fact that I will never be able to do all the projects I have available. I have enough acryllic paint to cover the White House, so I will consolidate and give the rest away.

I have also decided that I will concentrate my efforts on painting and scrapbooking. I have everything I need to stay busy for years with what I have. I would like to give some of it away to others I know who work with other kinds of crafts, like beading, and Christmas Crafts, etc.

I am glad to be feeling better, and am looking forward to the not-so-distant future when I can re-join the living and get back to my "normal" life!

Love to All,

Mary

Two to Go!

I had a review of my case at the Oncologist. I explained the pain I was in last time, and so they decided to decrease the dosage of the chemo drug this time. On Monday I had chemo, and felt OK afterwards and on Tuesday I got the shot for my immune system. I felt quite like myself, for the first time in months, so I got out of the house and did some errands, and spent some time with Sandy.

Today, I am still doing well, but a bit achey. It is tolerable, and I worked around my house, sitting frequently when my hips would get sore. I have not had to take the pain meds or the steroids yet, and I consider that a good sign. Last session, I was in a good deal of pain at this point on Wednesday, so I am happy to say that is not the case this week.

I have two more chemo sessions to go...on the 28th of Nov. and on Dec. 12th, and then I'm DONE with chemo!!! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. That is so encouraging to me! Then I have to wait two weeks after the end of chemo and will start radiation.

But just one step at a time. I am so grateful to be feeling as well as I do for the time-being.
Thanks for all your prayers and good thoughts.

Love to all!

Mary

When it Rains, It Pours

Most of the time, I am here alone. I have the occasional phone call, and Casie drops in when she can. Yesterday was an exception to that. Tina, whom I have known since before she was born (I am dear friends with her Mother). Called on Tuesday to let me know she had Friday off work and wanted to visit me. On Wednesday, Georgia called and told me that women from the church would be bringing me meals every other day or so for the next week.

On Friday, Tina came for a nice, long, visit! It was so great! But during her visit, Caroline came with a meal for us (she did not know about what the other ladies from church were doing). The phone kept ringing for various reasons (besides the usual sales calls), and the doorbell rang several times, too. Several people were looking for Gary. (He also had the day off...although he worked around the house all day long). Then Elgene showed up with her scheduled meal, and the kids from the neighborhood came to ask to jump on our trampolene.

Tina stayed through the afternoon and we had a fabulous visit! Then I ate some of the wonderful food that was brought-in, and then got ready to meet Sandy and Nancy at Archiver's for a "Scrapbooking Madness" night out. We planned this weeks ago, and I said I would come if I was feeling up to it. Getting there was the challenge. Every small effort I make to do anything just takes everything out of me.

Thankfully, the company was uplifting, and doing creative things always gives me a mental boost. And, Oh, Yeah, I was able to sit down most of the time, so that was a lifesaver!

All that in ONE DAY!!! I got home at 10:30 pm. My all-time favorite movie was on, so I sat down to watch it, fell sound asleep immediately and woke up at 2:30 am and crawled into bed...which I should have done in the first place. I slept this morning [afternoon] until 12:30 pm without an interruption! (I think I was worn-out). But I have NO regrets about my busy day, and thinking about all the kindness shown to me.

Thank you, Georgia, Casie, Elgene, Caroline, Christy, Tina, Nancy and Sandy!!!! Your kindness really made the needle on my boredom meter go way down!

Love you ALL!

Mary

Three to Go

I have three more chemo treatments to Go. The next one is Monday, Nov. 14. My last one will be in mid-December. Hopefully by Christmas, I'll be feeling well enough to actually enjoy the Holiday.

This has been a bit tougher than I was expecting. This time around with the combination of new drugs, I am experiencing a lot of bone and muscle pain and a constant, dull headache. It makes me feel nervous about the next time around, because the effect seems to be cumulative, so there's a good chance of it getting worse each time.

Yes, I am whining, and I admit it. I was not prepared for the fatigue and boredom, or this level of pain. I would love to project the brave face, but I am being worn down daily, and don't have the energy to be cheerful about it. My whole life is on hold and there's not a whole lot I can do about it. SO for now, that's the status.

Love to all,

Mary

Tougher than I thought

This new set of symptoms is proving to be a challenge for me. I was not expecting this level of pain and discomfort. The shot they give me to produce more white blood cells, combined with my new chemo drug, is causing me aching and sometimes shooting pains in my hips and legs, and chest.

The doctor gave me steroids and Vicodin. (not sure on the spelling). It's a strong pain killer. It works for a while, but when it wears off...a few hours before I am allowed to take it again, I have to endure cramping and muscle spasms in my legs. Not fun.

I am not looking forward to three more treatments. Doc said this may last for three to four days. I hope it does not last too long, as this is very taxing. It makes it difficult for me to sleep. I am just going to have to hang in there in the meanwhile.

Several friends have brought me dinners, and that has been a big help, because standing in the kitchen to cook is difficult. So I really appreciate you, Allie, Cherry and Heather!!! Thanks so much for the help!

I awoke this morning still under the influence of my meds, so I was fooled into thinking it was better, but as the day wore on and the pills wore off, it got uncomfortable. I am just going to assume this is short-lived, and make the best of it. I drink lots of water, hoping to flush this stuff out of my system. I tried to get a few things done, but it was not exactly productive. So I have been watching documentaries, etc. to keep my mind off the pain. I watch the clock for my next dose of the pills, and welcome the relief they bring.

Oh well, one day at a time...or, one minute at a time.

Love to all,

Mary

Ouch!

I had my first round of the new chemo drug on Monday, and the shot on Tuesday. Today I am experiencing aches and pains in my muscles and bones. Mostly in my hips and legs. I tried some Tylenol, which is the only pain medication my Dr. wants me to take right now, but it doesn't give me much relief...briefly at best. She predicted this symptom and told me that if the Tylenol doesn't work, I can take more steroids...not exactly what I want to do. Steroids and me do not get along well.

Tonight will be interesting. I hope I shall be able to sleep with this aching going on. I slept well last night, and hope that will be the case again. Today wasn't overly exciting...I paid some bills and did the dishes. WoooHoooo! I look around at other things that need doing, and my legs ache as I try to move around. I have to sit down frequently, which puts a damper on many activities.

I was hoping that this drug would not be so intrusive, but it seems worse than the previous symptoms of fatigue and tiredness. I hope I can stick it out for three more treatments. No telling how long these symptoms may last...

Love to All,

Mary

Up Day

I slept well last night, and am feeling "almost normal" even though it seems like it's been so long since I felt "normal" that I am not sure what exactly that means. I went to my regular doctor yesterday for several reasons. 1: to renew my handicap sticker for my vehichle [done]. 2: to renew my prescription [done] 3: to discuss the swelling under my arm from the lymphodema [done] and 4: because I am developing a sinus infection - he gave me a prescription for anti-biotics [done].

I have learned my limits as far as my immunity is concerned. I went outside the other day to get my yard ready for winter. Mostly just putting yard ornaments in the shed, and taking a few plants indoors. I had my hand stool that Gary sawed the legs off of to use for gardening, so I could sit frequently because I was still feeling tired. But I did not forsee the problem with the exposure to whatever was blowing in the wind out there, and the next morning I awoke with a sinus headache.

Whatever was in the air I was breathing was irritating to my sinuses. So now I have to get this under control before it becomes a serious infection. This is a bit of a setback, because it means I have to be even more limited in my activities, and I felt I was being relatively cautious as it was.

Back to the drawing board, I guess! I have to become more creative about ways to amuse myself here in the shelter of my home. There are activities and events going on all around me that I want so badly to participate in, and yet, I have to bow out. This is a challenge for me to have to take care of myself without going nuts.

Love to all!

Mary

ZZZzzzzzzzz..........

Sometimes it amazes me how much I can sleep! I get eight to ten hours of sleep at night, and during the day I can barely stay awake at times! This gets old. My spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. I imagine all the things I would like to get done, but I have NO energy to accomplish the tasks at hand.

This morning, I made some scrambled eggs (sitting in a chair by the stove) and then while wiping off the counter top, broke into a sweat, and was overcome with exhaustion. I shall find it hard not to appreciate doing the simplest of jobs without becoming exhausted when I get to the other side of this whole process.

It's just frustrating to have all this "free time" and not be able to do more of the things I enjoy. The other morning, I awoke after ten hours of sleep, and was so relieved I did not have to go to work, because I was still tired and sore. I would never be able to withstand the rigors of driving the bus and dealing with the kids, even IF I had an immune system that could withstand all the exposure to their illnesses.

This last round of chemo has left me more weak, more tired, and I have had to take more of my nausea medication to stave off the "urpy" feeling in my gut. Next chemo is on Halloween. It will be a different kind of drug, and the oncology nurse said it is generally milder than what I have been getting...I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Keep up your prayers and good thoughts for me, please

Love to ALL!

Mary

Just Pluggin' Along

The reason I have not added anything lately, is because there is not much happening...which is a good thing, right? I have been home, mostly, recuperating from my last chemo. That consists mainly of sleeping...a LOT. I feel like the most boring [or bored] person in the world.

Now it's time for my fourth treatment on Monday, and the cycle will begin again. Even IF it felt like a good idea to go somewhere to do something, A: I have no money, B: I am paranoid of catching some kind of illness. So, mostly I stay home and keep a low profile.

Last night we went to TGI Friday's to celebrate Kelly's Birthday. It was her big FIVE-O. ...Just don't understand how all of my friends can be gettin' so OLD! LOL!

Tonight, we had dinner with my son, Ben. He turns 26 on Monday, the 17th. So now I will hunker down here at home, again. I have made a few cards, which is a good way for me to keep from going nuts. Have also become addicted to mini-series movies on Netflix. Lots of drama, which is happily missing in my own life as of late.

To sum it all up, I feel basically OK, feel the need to stick to the home base, and my major symptom of the chemo is fatigue...so I sleep a lot.

Love to all,

Mary

Back Home Again

I have arrived in "chilly" MN again. My sojourn in Utah is done...for a while. I had a very pleasant driving trip back, and stopped in Evanstan, WY to see my dear friend, Nola for a few hours, and then on to Upton, WY in the Northeast corner of the State, to spend a night and a day with my brother, Joe and his wife Denice. Sure do LOVE to see them now and again! We had such a nice visit.

I was on a mission to get home in time to see my friend, Suzanne and her husband, Kim before they left for Corona, CA for good. I made it to the Bloomington Hilton by 6:05 pm. I was amazed at how easy the trip was! I left Joe's at 6:30 am, and stopped quite frequently, so I was pleased. Even lost an hour on the way.

We met Casie and went out to dinner together, and went back to the hotel and talked, and laughed, and had a phone skype conversation with the Harpers (who have recently moved to Seattle, WA). (Gary was up in Ashland, Wisconsin at the car races with his friend, Todd, who was driving in the race. Gary got to be pit crew, and loved every minute of it!)

I am truly going to miss them ALL! Our little group has dwindled down to Casie and I. Girlfriends will prevail, however! Thank goodness for phones and computers!

I had my third round of chemo yesterday [Monday] afternoon, and met Sandy afterwards to have dinner together. It is so good to have dear friends to come home to!

I went in for my shot to keep my white blood cell count up today. Casie accompanied me all afternoon. It was great to have a buddy along! We also went to lunch and did grocery shopping and stopped-by my employer's to drop off my letter excusing me from working. Then we picked up her daughter, Kenzie, and came back to my house, put all the groceries away, and made BLT's for supper.

Now, I am missing my grandbabies. I have some great memories of my time in Utah, and saw some dear friends while I was out there, too. Tacy was a trooper and had such an ideal labor and delivery. Chuck was there the whole while and it went along quickly. They arrived at the hospital at noon, and Daphnie was born at 1:4o pm. Great work! Daphnie is beautiful, with a full head of thick, black hair like her daddy.

Fiona spent the day with her Aunt Julia, and myself. They left with the little girls so go to Salt Lake City for the afternoon & evening, and I went back to the apartment, picked up Great Grandma, Edith, and we took the opportunity to go see Daphnie. Edith was so thrilled to get to see her before she had to leave the next day to return to MN by plane.

Daphnie was having some digestive problems for the first five days or so, but that seemed to diminish just before I was leaving. She had some problem with her bilirubin count being elevated, but that was coming down by the time I left for MN.

Fiona is adjusting to a new baby sister, and she is keeping Mommy busy with her antics! If you want to see a video of Fiona meeting Daphnie for the first time, Go to YouTube.com, and in the search bar, type-in "Daphnie and Fiona Meet". Tacy's YouTube name is "Tasinhas23" just in case you want to see any of the other videos of Fiona, etc. You can also type that name into the search bar to find all her videos.

I must say, good video, Chuck. Such a CUTE first meeting! I was so thrilled to be there for it!

I was fortunate to get to hold Daphnie a lot, and did not leave until the following Wednesday. So sad to leave, though... :( I don't like being so far away. Tacy told me Fiona misses me. I miss her so much, too! I shall look forward to next time. And, I am sure to be feeling a LOT better by then!!!

Love to ALL!

Mary :)

New Life!

There is nothing that gets me more excited than welcoming a new life into the world!  Especially when the new life is my baby granddaughter.  Daphne Autumn Call was born to Tacy and Charles [Chuck] today at 1:40pm.  She weighed a healthy 7 lbs. 12 oz.  I don't know her length, though.  She has a beautiful head of thick, black hair [like her Daddy].  She is Soooo cute!  I watched Fiona for a while and then she spent the afternoon with her Auntie Julia, Uncle Daniel and cousin Rae. 

Mom [Edith] and I went over to the hospital in the evening to see Daphne for the first time.  She is so sweet!  She was busy eating most of the time.  I did manage to hold her for a few moments.

Tomorrow I will bring Fiona over to see her new little sister.  I can't wait to see what her reaction will be.  Life Just doesn't get any more exciting than this!

I am over the hump from the last round of chemo, for the most part.  I can tell my immune system is being compromised, however, and I am paranoid about catching a bug of some kind from people.  Oh well, I am just so happy to be here with my daughter during this time, to be able to be of whatever support I can. 

I have made arrangements to have at least one chemo treatment here next week, and we shall see after that...I have another friend I can stay with during my really sick days, so I won't be an added burden to Tacy and Chuck. 

More Later,

Love,

Mary

Over the Hump

It is Friday, and I have had time to get over the less pleasant effects of chemo.  Am not as fatigued, not sleeping all day, and am able to walk without gasping for air.  Think I have finally become acclimated to the thin mountain air.  

Gary, Tacy, Mom, and Fiona accompanied me to Salt Lake City to see some sites.  Went on a tour of the Conference Center, which is full of large (as in 8x10 foot) original paintings of biblical scenes...just beautiful.  Makes me want to dust off my paint brushes once again.  There is a garden on the roof of the building with trees and fountains...very relaxing.

Then went to lunch at a Food Court, which was very loud...what a contrast!   Went through the 1800's house of Brigham Young.  Love old places with the fabulous workmanship in the woodwork, etc.  And the furniture was amazing! 

Then went to Temple Square, to check more beautiful gardens, and some of the buildings there.  I had a wheelchair that the Conference center provided and let me use around the several square block area.  That was a lifesaver, or would have never been able to keep up with everyone!  It was a splendid day!

Went to visit Karen and Lewis, some longtime friends that I see only every few years.  Wonderful to catch up on old times and new times, too.  Am thoroughly enjoying being here with friends and family.

Love to all!

Mary  :)

On the Road

We made it out to Utah...Gary and his Mother, Edith (Great Grandma) and myself.  It was a long, grueling trip in the car.  Mostly, I slept in the back seat, when I was not working on the blanket for Daphne.  Thankfully, we stopped about midway at my brother, Joe's house.  We had a pleasant visit and an overnight stay. 
We drove all through the second day, stopped briefly in Evanston, WY to see my dear friend Nola, and then made the last hour and a half into Lehi, Utah (20 minutes south of Salt Lake City).  Arrived about 10pm our time...we were wiped-out!  Mountaiin time is one hour earlier, and they kept Fiona up a bit past her usual bedtime, so Gramma and Grampa ("Pa-Pa") could see her.  That made the trip worthwhile.

Gary had done nearly all the driving, as I was in NO shape for it...too tired from my second round of chemo.  I am still recuperating, and have been napping a lot today.  But I am happy to be with Tacy, Fiona and Chuck, and we are still waiting for the arrival of Daphne...Tacy looks way too perky to be ready exactly yet.  She is still climbing the mountain with Fiona in the stroller!   (They all took a walk, while I took a rest!)

Today is Chuck's Birthday, and we are going to have a very nice dinner that Tacy and Edith are preparing.  I HAVE to play with Fiona while they cook. 

Love to All,

Mary

Long time, no write

Sorry folks, I'm supposed to be keeping you updated, but have just not felt like anything newsworthy was happening, which is good news, right? So, today is catch-up day, because I will be filling you in on the latest. I apologize for the length...maybe you can read it in several sittings....

First of all, I decided to override my workaholic mentality [no easy task, because the GUILT is horrendous!] I did not report to work as I had wanted to (against the wishes of my Oncologist, I might add, because I am wonder woman, after all, and nothing is gonna bother me). She was adamant that it would be very easy for me to pick up illness from the children on the bus, and with no immunity to speak of, I would literally be up a crick without a paddle (my words, not hers---she was way more professional in her explanation as to why I should not be driving school bus because of the disease factors involved)

Well, as the day approached and I had already overdone it on the weekend, driving three bus runs to the state fair for Epiphany Diner Volunteers, Realized I was NOT wonder woman, and was NOT feeling very well. So, after a lot of agonizing mental compromise, called work and let them know I would NOT be driving. It still bothers me immensely and I worry about "my kids" on my route...WHO is driving them? etc.

Friends have reminded me repeatedly that I need to take care of Myself...Never been very good at that.

Come Monday morning, I woke up sick, tired, nauseated and dizzy. Was SO relieved I was not driving the school bus right then. So it proves that sometimes I am actually capable of making good decisions on my own behalf.

Spent the rest of the rest of this week relaxing, sleeping, and generally taking it easy. Spent Wednesday with Sandy L. from work, because it was her Birthday. We ate at Olive Garden. Fun time! Started feeling better again....just in time for another round of Chemo!!! Yay!

Oh, and as of Thursday, I started noticing hairs falling out...went to bed, and my scalp felt really weird...almost painful...which started a whole lot of thinking...am I going bald now?...will I wake up in a pile of hair?...am I really going to lose ALL my hair?...then said to myself...shut up and go to sleep...there's nothing you can do about it anyway, one way or the other...maybe you won't lose all your hair...maybe just some of it...oh shut up and go to sleep! So I did.

SO, today [Friday] was my appointment, and I got there and my bloodwork looked good (everything on the sheet said, "normal") Which meant I could have the chemo again. YAY! Spoke with the nurse specialist who asked me all about my health and symptoms, and she again reminded me that I should NOT be driving with all the kids. She also asked me about my hair and assured me that the kind of chemo I am getting is a sure bet for hair loss. She said, this second round will make it happen.

Once I was hooked-up with all the IVs, settled-in to my chair and crocheted on the blanket for my soon-to-be-born [July 13th?] Granddaughter, Daphne. The actual process is not unpleasant, except when they flush the port with saline...it gives off a horrible odor! Feels like the hair in my nostrils is curling. (maybe that won't be an issue in the near future.) LOL! Watched a biography on Janet Jackson (most of it, anyway) and chatted with the nurse and the patient next to me, who was in there for the whole day! Compared to my measly three hours, I told her she was a trooper!

Texted back and forth with Michelle in Seattle.

Got off the "comfy chair" to use the restroom, and then decided to wander up and down the hall inside the oncology clinic. Told them I was going dancing with my new beau...the IV stand. The nurse said he was awfully thin. Told her next time, I'll bring him a HAT! LOL!

The time went amazingly fast, and after all the pain meds, etc. I was feeling good. Stopped-by the Cancer Resource Center down the hall from the clinic, and inquired about wigs...well, that turned-out to be an understatement! Did they have WIGS! Hundreds of them. Many of them on display. Tried on a blonde one...it made me look sick! Not good. But the next one I tried was SOooooo Cute! It's dark brown underneath with lots of highlights. It is not quite shoulder length, and is a straight, curved cut. I showed it to the lady and she said, excitedly, "OH, that is YOU!" So, of course, because I really liked it, and she approved, decided it was "the one". She also gave me a comfy jersey knit cap for bedtime to keep my head warm; a pull-on scarf for days when I don't feel like wearing a wig; but the fun one was a pink cap with "Chemo Sucks" embroidered on the front. When I finally figure out how to put pictures on my blog, will post some.) It will go great with my "Cancer Sucks" T-shirt that I got from Suz.

Then went into Anoka to the Coop Store and bought some wheat grass capsules, on reccomendation from a friend to keep my energy up. Took them immediately, and did notice a surge of energy.
So, headed to the pet store to pick up more food for our Chihuahua, Kiita. Then stopped at KFC and got a meal with grilled chicken. Took it over to Suz' house where Gary was out walking her dog, Gunnar, while she and her husband were gone. We ate, then both left for home.

I took a nap, and then Georgia stopped-by and brought us some banana bread she made...yum. Casie came over to hang out for the evening. I also finished the last load of laundry for the week, and made a Birthday Card for my Son-in-law, Chuck (also on the 13th of Sept, Tacy's due date). Put Fiona's name on the front of her scrapbook.

Full day. I feel good. Tomorrow I pack and go to my appointment at Mercy Hospital for my 24-hour-later shot for my white blood cell count and then we leave Sunday morning (Gary, Edith-Gary's Mom, and I) to Lehi, Utah to see Tacy, Chuck, and Fiona (and hopefully) Daphne!

Love to ALL!
Mary

Getting Better...I Think

Today I felt very well. I went to work for a short time, and made a nice dinner for us. The day was busy, but not hectic. My knees are still feeling ok due to the steroids. I'm sure there will be a price to pay for that down the road. But I am enjoying being able to walk with a minimal amount of pain and discomfort.

I suppose there comes a point where you work a lot of the poison out of your system, and I seem to have reached that. So, perhaps I will continue to feel better and better until my next treatment on the 9th. I have certainly gained a new appreciation for having a "good day".

Still no sign of hair loss yet. I am going to get my hair cut really short on Friday. I am not willing to fully shave it off until it actually begins to fall out. Seeing is believing, in this case.

Love to ALL!

Mary :)

Monday Again

The start of a new week. It is good to have a beginning and an end, especially when you are waiting for something. I am glad the time seems to be passing quickly right now, because, it helps me feel like this won't be forever. Even though I cannot say that I am ever Bored, there are times when the day drags on, and I look forward to it's end.

Yesterday felt like that, and then even into the night, I was awakened all night by weird dreams, and restless thoughts. Just hoping to feel better, I guess. I got up and went to work this morning at 6 am. Mainly, because I wanted to do another something "normal", and I want to know what my limits are in relation to this treatment. I can drive just fine, but when I came back to the base, I was overwhelmed by tiredness, so I went to sleep slumped over a table, and then, when I awoke from the first 'nap' went out to my car and slept for two more hours, until I had to go take the kids back home.

Then, I returned home to sleep for four more hours! Gary made a good suggestion for dinner and got it started, and then I finished it. We had chicken and broccoli, one of our favorites. That made it easy to eat. My taste buds are a bit more selective now, although I don't feel like I've had a loss of appetite (shucks, I was hopin'...lol).

At 9:30 pm I left the house to go down and pick up my friend, Casie, at the airport. That also went fine. I do ok when I am occupied. And I love being useful to people I love. Everyone is so kind and generous to me, and I like to pay it forward.

Well, I am finally nodding off again, so I will go to bed.

Until next time,

Love to ALL!

Mary

And SO It Goes

Friday was a gift. Saturday I was a bit under the weather, feeling a bit nauseated, but the meds took care of that. I stuck around the house mostly, and did my laundry, and worked on my cards. Nothing too exciting.

Today, ( Sunday) I stayed home and slept nearly all day. I kept taking my anti-nausea meds, and took some Tylenol when the aches got bad. I won't dare complain, because I know it could always be worse! I count myself blessed, not to have to be completely laid-up with this. I will take every good day that comes.

I have no idea if this will intensify with each treatment, but I can only do it one day at a time.
All I can do is hope for the best!

Love to All!

Mary

Day Two of First Chemo

I must say, I am astounded! I do not feel sick at all!!! In fact, my knees don't hurt as much as they usually do, and I think that is because they gave me a steroid to ease the chemo symptoms. I feel tired, but not run-down. I spent my day out in my yard, repotting some plants, and pulling weeds again. Gary cut the legs off of a stool for me and it is just the perfect height for gardening and pulling weeds. I was in the shade all day, though. It was rather warm during the afternoon. I drank a lot of water while I was out there, too.

I have NO idea how I will feel tomorrow, and I can only take it one day at a time. But I consider today a MIRACLE, so THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR PRAYERS AND POSITIVE THOUGHTS MY WAY!!!!! I believe they all make a difference!

I got a shot this afternoon that is supposed to help my white blood cell count from getting too low. So I can keep some immunity. That was nothing, but of course they gave me a list of possible side effects, so we shall see. One of them is pains in the bones. I am not sure how I would be able to notice, because of my arthritis...so no big whoop.

Now I am going to go downstairs to my craft corner and work on my greeting cards. It's my other "happy place'.

LOVE TO ALL!!

Mary

First Day of Chemotherapy

I have to admit, I was filled with intrepidation about this outcome, and I was trying to put on a brave face [though not too successfully, I might add] Inwardly, I was a total wreck! I had built my hopes up so far against chemo and I was not mentally prepared to accept the probability of having to go through it. [I am better now.] I have had another attitude adjustment.

Because I have an overwhelming desire to stay alive and watch my Grandchildren grow up and to have a chance to paint my masterpiece someday [hopefully soon], I opted for the Chemo. So now it begins in earnest!

Gary left work early and so did I, and we met at home and drove to the Clinic together. He was very upset, because his manager was hassling him about having to leave...! [even though Gary warned him previously that this was BOUND TO HAPPEN during the course of my cancer treatments. It took him a while to settle down. NO ONE likes to be talked to like an "underling". He felt belittled and I do not say as I blame him.

Oh well, we soon became busy getting educated about chemo treatment. Ashley was our nurse and she was very pleasant. She explained everything very thoroughly, and when she didn't have an answer for our questions, she promptly found others who did.

The Port for the IV is a lifesaver! I used the Lidocaine to numb it for one hour before I arrived, and barely felt the pinch of the needle [they use a fairly large needle for this, so it really hurt the first time they flushed the port and took some blood samples]. I was happy to find my blood pressure was normal...127 over 69. It seems everytime I go to get my DOT physical for driving the school bus, it comes off as high. Maybe they intimidate me and raise it! LOL

She took blood, then gave me anti-nausea meds, then a steroid too, we had to wait a bit after that injection. Then she put in a bright red chemo drug in a syringe [still through the port]...I referred to that one as "Kool-Aid! then flushed the port, and started the last chemo bag. That took a whole hour by itself. In all, we were there three hours.

I never did experience any severe side effects TODAY. I noticed a strong chemical odor when she was using the saline to flush the port, but I did not taste a "metallic" taste during the chemo. I was actually quite relaxed during the procedure and was looking at cardmaking files that Sandy L. shared with me. I still have a lot more of them to see....so I'll save them for next time.

I was disappointed that I could not connect to the internet in there. I was so looking forward to browsing. But, I shall have to settle for my own programs, and bring a DVD to watch next time.
I am tired now, and am going to go to bed. I only have a slight headache, so that is tolerable for now. We shall see what tomorrow brings.

One Down, Seven to GO!

My next time will be in two weeks. Here goes nothing!

I appreciate all the prayers and positive thoughts! Catch me also on Facebook as Mary LaBarre Krause. I know some of you are having no luck trying to leave me comments here. And I am Not saavy enough to explain you through the process...sorry.

Love to all!

Mary

Hang ON! It's gonna get REALLY BUMPY!

I was feeling so normal today...I got up very early and went to work!!! Never thought I'd feel so excited about that, but it felt so "Normal". I drove the school bus for the first time in 3 months. It was just like getting back on a bike.

The middle school students (just the sixth graders) had their orientations today. We had to run the regular route, bring them to school and then take them back home several hours later.

When that was all done, I waited for my 3:00 appt. with my Oncologist. The results of my Onco-Test were back. She spent some time in the past few days consulting with other Doctors, too.

Their collective consensus was that I should have chemo. Mainly because I am "young", and they feel it would greatly reduce my chances of a re-occurance. I was not aware that IF there is a re-occurance of my kind of cancer, it will be a stage 4 [which is incurable]. Faced with that eventuality, I will choose to have chemo, because it will up my chances for getting rid of this.

I can't say as I am happy about this outcome. On the way home from the visit, I felt shaky and scared. I tried to call several friends. No one was answering their phone. I felt very alone, and so just went straight home. Gary listened, and is going to come with me to the first treatment. I think he feels as upset about all this as I do. It is scary for him, as well.

So, I will go to my meetings for the bus drivers tomorrow and get my in-service training, and then I will head over to the Clinic at 12:30. It will take about 3 hours for the IV to go in. Then I have to return on Friday at 4 pm for a shot...I think that one is for anti-nausea.

In the meanwhile, I am just plain nervous about how this will all affect me. I HATE being sick! and tired, and nauseated, and achey. YUCK!

I will have treatments every two weeks, and will have 4 treatments, and then will discuss with the Doctor if I can continue on to the next 4 treatments, so that makes 8 in all.

Two weeks after the chemo ends, I will begin six weeks of radiation, five days a week.

Then, I will begin a regimen of hormone suppression pills that I will have to take for five years!

After five years, if there is no return of cancer that is a good sign. But it takes ten years cancer-free for them to say I am "cured". It will be a LONG HAUL!!!

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. I'm not out of the woods yet.

Love you all!

Mary

What a Wonderful Weekend!

I started celebrating my birthday on Friday...My girlfriend, Sandy Larson, and I spent the day together, and had lunch, went shopping and talked our heads off. It was fabulous! PLUS, it was a beautiful day, so that was just a BONUS. In the evening, Gary and I went to Sammy's for pizza, and then watched a movie we rented.

On Saturday, I went out in my garden all day and trimmed bushes and pulled weeds. I was so happy to be outside in my "Happy Place". Again, the weather was perfect. In the evening, I went over to Suz Dorney's house and had BBQ'd steak, sweet potatoes, salad and eclairs (with a lit candle on it) and a rendition of "Happy Birthday" sung to me by Suz, Kim, Rylee, and the Harpers in Seattle on speakerphone! We sat out on the screened-in deck (so NO mosquitos!) and listened to the rain come down...that was sweet.

Sunday morning, got up and ready and went to Gary's Mom's house for a gathering of all his available siblings and their kids. It was a fabulous day. Mom served brunch...it was great! Again, another perfect day....LIFE DOESN'T GET MUCH BETTER THAN THIS...until I head out west to see my daughter and granddaughter(s), of course.

I feel so blessed!

Still waiting on word for the Onco Test from CA. The results will go to my oncologist.

Love you all!

Mary :)

Another Update...

I got a call from the California Lab that is doing the tests on my cancer tissue sample...
They just got the sample today! They did not receive the paperwork order until last Thursday. So NOW, it is another 7-10 days until they will have results to send to my oncologist. Tick, tick, tick, tick.....oh my goodness.

And STILL Waiting

I was so hopeful that I was going to hear from my oncologist today...nope, not yet. This is frustrating, to say the least... just got to keep busy with other things.

It was Gary and my 33rd Anniversary Sunday. On Saturday, we took a car trip up to the cabin we usually rent...the owner, Bill, invited us to come up for a short visit. It was so nice to be up there, in the clean air, gentle wind blowing off the lake, and good company. On our way home we stopped at the Casino in Danbury for an inexpensive, but very nice Steak and Lobster dinner! What a nice way to spend the day.

Love you all!

Mary

No News Yet

I have still not heard back from my oncologist about the test that was done in California on my tissue sample. The results of that test will determine whether or not my kind of cancer will respond to chemotherapy or not.

So, I am just in holding pattern, waiting for the phone to ring...

Love you all,

Mary

What a Day!

I attended a class about chemotherapy and it's possible effects...not too encouraging.

That lasted one and a half hours. I must admit, that while it was chock full of information, it left me feeling anxious about the whole process... They did not seem to mention any favorable side effects...just a long litany of bad ones, and none of them are any fun---

Nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite
Tiredness, severe fatigue, loss of interest
Constipation or it's opposite--
Diarrhea, with the associated discomforts and possible dehydration
Fever or chills
Hot Flashes...(YAY)...just when I thought that was all over with!
Skin Rashes, infections
Mouth sores
Sore, achey muscles and bones
Weakness overall
Possible Heart Damage
Kidney Damage
Liver Damage
Brain Damage (I doubt that would be noticeable!)
Internal Organ Damage,
Etc. etc. etc.

On the UP Side, I did manage to leave with a prosthetic breast, though, and that helped me feel more "normal" about my physical appearance.

An hour later, I went to Mercy Hospital for a MUGA Test. I have no idea what that stands for. They put an IV in my right arm, because they had to take my blood, inject it with radioactive particles, and re-inject it into my arm again. They could not use the IV port I have in my shoulder, because he said the radioactive material will clog the port hoses.

I had to wait a half hour for the radioactive material to do it's thing, and then I went in for the MUGA test, which consists of laying on my back, very still for three 15 minute segments. I had to keep my arms above my head, so that got to be uncomfortable. It seemed like three hours! This test gives them a "picture" or reading of my normal heart activity, so they have something to compare with during the chemo process. I was not excited to know that chemo can cause heart problems...

At the end of the testing, the young tech. took the IV out of my arm and had me hold a piece of gause on it for a minute, put a piece of surgical tape over it, then instructed me to finish getting my shoes on, etc. and he would direct me out the door to the lobby. As I was bent down, tying my shoe, I felt something wet on my arm, and my arm (and my nice blouse) were drenched in blood! So he had to clean off what he could and put another, larger, tighter bandage on my arm.

I have a nasty-looking set of bruises under the skin on my arm now. I have never had this happen in all my years, so I was quite shocked at it! I drove home, sat still for a while and then removed the bandage. It is fine now, except for the bruises.

Well, next week I will most likely be seeing my Oncologist, so will fill you in on that, when it happens.

I will be needing someone to come with me on my first visit, so I will most likely bring Gary, and then we shall know how I handle the treatments, and whether I can drive myself to and from.
I have some girlfriends who have volunteered to come along, but everyone is so busy with their own lives, work and all. We shall see.

While I was typing this, the Postman came to the door and delivered a package from my cousin, Eleanor, who is a survivor of this same type of breast cancer. She sent me some books of encouragements, a Survivor T-Shirt, and two beautiful scarves. As if that was not enough, she apologized for not attending the Benefit [because her husband was having a serious health issue] and included a check! I am always over whelmed by peoples' generosity! Thanks, Eleanor.

That's it for now,
Love you ALL!

Mary :)

RADIATION

I went to meet the Radiation Doctor today. They gave me an overview of the proceedure. I will not begin radiation until two weeks after I finish with Chemotherapy. I still don't have any dates for the Chemo, because we are waiting for the results of a new test they have to determine more specific treatment.

Radiation will involve 5 days a week, for 20 minutes per treatment, for six weeks. ...NOT looking forward to that...especially because it burns the skin and causes a lot of damage. But, I gotta do what I gotta do...

The reason I have to have Radiation, as well as Chemo and Anti-Hormone Therapy is because of the lymph glands involved. The radiatin treatments are supposed to target other lymph glands in the area, especially above the [missing] breast and under the arm.

Will let you know when I know more. I probably won't know more about Chemo treatments until next week. In the meanwhile, I have to find a lymphodemia specialist, because I am beginning to have swelling in my arm from all the lymph glands that were removed. If it's not one thing, it's something else...LOL!

Love you all!

Mary

To VEG, or not to VEG.

I have been reading, and watching online videos about VEGETABLE JUICING. Today I decided to venture into this rhealm...just sticking one toe in the water, so to speak. I rescued my Vita Mix machine purchased years ago when I thought it was a great idea, and dusted it off, and filled it with Kale (loaded with vitamins!) spinach leaves, one apple, one banana, two celery stalks, 1/3 of a cucumber, 1 carrot, and about 12 ounces of water.

It filled three 12 ounce glasses with a thick, green mixture which turned-out to be not at all unpleasant. I drank them down. Wallah! I got all my veggies and fruits for one day in one sitting. Mind you, this was not officially "juicing". This concoction has all the fiber in it, When one is using an actual juicer [which is also tucked-away in the high cupboard above the fridge]
all the pulp is removed, and you actually have nothing but the juice. I figured I could use some more fiber in my diet, not less.

I must admit, I awoke this morning feeling run-down and sluggish, so I thought I would give this a try. About one hour later, I noticed a boost in my energy level! That was encouraging. I shall try this again tomorrow. One day at a time, and see how I am feeling after a week or so.

The added benefit was, it gave me a good reason to clear out my fridge!

As for yesterday, I got to do something simple that made me feel like less of a slug. My friend needed a ride to and from her Dr. appointment, fairly close to home, and I was happy to drive her. Driving does not cause me any strain, and I love an excuse to get out of here. It gave me a small chance to "pay it forward" for all the help and kindness I have received during my recovery time.

In the meanwhile, I had a 'slip of the brain' and forgot I was supposed to meet up with Sandy from work. Thank Goodness she called me in the morning to remind me! We got some lunch, and then played with our laptops, and figured out a few things. We will definately need to do it some more. By later in the afternoon, I started to snooze on her. Forgive me, Sandy!

In the evening, Michelle and John stopped-by and we had a fun chat. I am sad they are moving away...:(

GOOD FRIENDS ARE LIKE MEDICINE (without the yucky after-taste)! LOL

Love you all!

Mary

Went to the Doctor and the Doctor Said....

No, she didn't say, "That's what ya get for Jumpin' on the Bed!"

Here is what I learned from the Oncologist, Dr. Nagargoje (Dr. N) today:

My cancer was stage 3, which is a good thing. That's the treatable kind.
It was a grade 2 cancer, meaning not too mutated from the original cells. Good thing.
It was hormonally based, so there are follow-up treatments for that after the chemo is done to give me more of a chance of not developing this kind of cancer again. Good thing.

She is going to have another new test run on the tissue to determine my need for chemotherapy. I will not get those results for about two weeks (I know...more waiting).

They flushed-out my port, and took some more blood for testing. Ouch! I naively thought that the port would make this a painless procedure, but it still hurts like a bugger when they stick the needle in. Thankfully, they have a prescription for me to get a salve to put on before I go for more treatments. It will numb the skin, so the "stick" won't be felt so acutely.

Everyone was super-nice and very personable. Good thing.

I have appointments next week to take a class about the chemotherapy process.
Having a test on my heart for a base to monitor it during and after chemo.
Going to meet the radiation Doctor.

Unrelated to Chemo.: will also go get my DOT physical. I am hoping to be able to drive the bus in the mornings when school begins. BUT, this will be conditional upon how well I tolerate the chemo, as far as illness and tiredness go. I'm crossing my fingers on this one.

Now, I am going to take a short nap before I go make a few more cards.

Love you all!

Mary

Getting Anxious

I am trying to stay occupied so I don't over-think my upcoming treatments. Being a novice, I don't really know what to expect, which is a blessing. I go this Wednesday to find out what's going to be happening.

I did some laundry this morning, showered, and met some friends for lunch. Then I went shopping for some gifts. I got home in the evening.

I will be going to bed early, because I will be spending the day tomorrow with teenaged twins, and I know they will tire me out! LOL!

Am feeling generally well, and hope you all are, as well.

Love to you all!

Mary

With Gratitude

Just a Note of Gratitude...

THANK YOU! To EVERYONE who came to the Benefit...it was so fun to visit with everyone! I also want to thank my sister, Teri Keeney, and my niece, Tess Bellamy, for hosting this event. There are not enough words to express my gratitude to them for the monumental effort they put forth to make this happen.

I am humbled by everyone's generosity. It has taken a huge financial burden off my shoulders, not to mention that I feel so blessed to have people in my life that are so giving.

I will add more later, but I did want to say THANKS!

Love you ALL!

Mary

BENEFIT REMINDER

The information for my Breast Cancer Benefit was posted a few days ago. If you have any questions, you can also contact Teri or Tess.

More later,

Love you all!

Mary

The Cold Head is Dead...

I talked to my oncology nurse about the Cold Cap idea. My Clinic doesn't have the technology available. It is quite the procedure. Not even sure I would want to put up with the brain-freeze from the outside in. The cap is kept in a special freezer at 20 degrees, It has to be changed every fifteen minutes during the whole chemo. procedure and for a few hours after. It sounds like a pain above the neck to me.

She did tell me that there are several clinics down in Minneapolis that do offer it, but I am not willing to change oncologists OR drive all the way down there and back for all my treatments. Have resigned myself to just lose the hair and wear a wig! kay sara sara.

I also asked about the possibility of interrupting my treatments in September when my daughter is ready to give birth. She said that sounds very possible. That would really cheer me up! I would go out with Joni (the other Grandma, who also happens to be a long-time friend of mine) and Gary. We shall see how that pans out.

Today I was recuperating from doing too much walking around this weekend without my decent shoes on. I am having severe pain in my right heel when I stand up to walk. I am sure it is a problem from not having proper support and my tendons in my heel are complaining big time.

This weekend is the Benefit my sister and niece are hosting in my behalf. It will be a welcome help, as the bills are beginning to pile up. I could not believe what it cost for 1 1/2 days in the hospital, and that doesn't cover the surgeon, the clinics, labs, etc. etc. etc.

I am in good spirits, and am healing well. I move my arms as much as possible to get my muscle tone back. So far, so good.

Love you all!

Mary

It's Another HOT ONE!

All I can say is, THANK GOODNESS FOR AIR CONDITIONING!

Yesterday (Sunday) I decided to venture out and go to church! It felt warm on the trip out of the house and into the car (which is also air conditioned). It was very pleasant to spend the afternoon with good people. Just plain nice to be anywhere but stuck at home. Don't get me wrong, I love my home, but anything gets old after too much of it.

When I came out of the church through the second set of doors to the outside, I was hit by a blast furnace of hot air!!! It was stifling. SO glad I could flip a switch and cool the inside of the car down in no-time flat. Drove home, changed clothes and headed up to Mom's because she made dinner for her crew...Gary and Becky and John, who spent the day re-building the retaining wall that got washed out by 6 inches of rain on Friday night!

After the wonderful roast beef dinner, we played a game called Joker. It is a lot like the old game "Sorry" we used to play as kids, except with cards. Mom had an ulterior motive...she wanted revenge for losing to Gary and Ralph last Tuesday when we played Sequence and got trounced by them. It was a close game of Joker, but the women won! Yay Girls!

Each day, I feel a bit better, less sore, and am slowly getting the kinks out of my left arm. I do little stretching exercises to get my muscles back into shape. One week to go before I see the oncologist. Then I'll find out what I'm really in for.

This morning I Skyped with my daughter and granddaughter. It is so fun to see them, as well as talk to them. Fiona throws me lots of kisses! She is so busy, though...her attention span on the screen is about 2 minutes, and then she is ready for the next activity. It makes my heart happy to be able to see her in motion, at least! Tacy is looking and doing well with her pregnancy. She is due in September. That is SO exciting!

I am still trying to figure out when I can work-in a trip out there to Utah. I want to see them, and I also would like to be there when my new granddaughter is born...we shall see.

For now, that's it!

Love you all!

Mary

Caution: Brain Exploding!

Today I got a text from my dear friend, Suz: "This is from Rylee. [her daughter] --Mary should get a cold cap for when she does chemotherapy". When I asked her what a cold cap was, she replied, "Google it". Having nothing better to do (see previous posts), I did, and found out that:

A cold cap is a helmet-looking covering for the head which is cooled down to a very cold temp (sorry, can't remember the degrees). You wear this during and for a few hours following chemo. and it's purpose is to restrict the blood vessels leading to the hair follicles and wallah! no hair loss as a result of chemo.!!! Sounds like a plan to me!

Read a good many testimonials, and yes, some "pooh-poohed" it. But the positives far outweighed the negatives. In fact, the negatives reminded me of my cranky stepmother telling me to "just endure it" when I had blinding headaches as a teen...when I knew full well that a few aspirin did the trick nicely. (My thinking was, "why should I suffer needlessly?)

That's how I feel about the cold cap. Why should I have to walk around bald (and depressed about it) if I do not have to? So I am going to research this out further. Most of the testimonials by users said it really boosted their moral to go through chemo looking normal.

OH, but that's not the end of the story...THEN I got a call from a nurse practitioner from my Health Insurance [yes, I'm already suspicious of her motives]. She said she was "assigned" to my case. She is there to help me with any questions or concerns I may have about my treatments, etc. So, I of course, asked her about the cold cap...she had never even heard of it!!! That made me feel really confident in her ability to offer me any useful help through this...not.

Let me explain that from what I have read, this device has been used all over the world for many years now, and the US is still "testing" to see if it is "safe". There are no known bad effects from any of the testing that has been done. But I am sure there is some kind of monetary reason for them withholding the information from the American Public.

The Insurance Nurse emailed me later in the day to inform me that there is no coverage for this device at this time. (Major Bummer, but no big surprise there). Having been a salesperson in the past, I do not easily take "No" for an answer...I shall keep on it.

Then, there was a post on my Facebook for something called the "Vibe" machine, which is supposed to cure all kinds of malladies. I don't know how it got posted on my Facebook, because I did not put it there...that makes my brain want to explode. So I went to the link and read all about the "Vibe" machine, and don't have a strong opinion one way or the other.

Just for the record, I am not willing to mess around with my health and healing at this point. I know a LOT of people, men and women, who have undergone chemotherapy for cancer, and while it seems barbaric and torturous in many respects, it's saved a lot of peoples' lives. I would not be adverse to trying some kinds of "natural" cures in addition to chemo, but I don't intend to try and outwit known science...I'm just not that smart at this point.

What I am going to need to do is hunker down and get through it. I am going to need a lot of "gumption" and even more faith in my ability to heal and survive. I need all of the prayers, and good thoughts and positive vibes I can collect. In other words, I still need encouragement, and love to get through this. I BELIEVE IN THOSE THINGS. Even hearing second-hand that people are thinking about me gives me strength. So keep it coming. Give me a call. Don't EVER think you will be bothering me! Even when I happen to get nudged out of a nap, I DON'T CARE, because I have plenty of time to sleep, believe me. And I LOVE to see you when you come to visit me. It makes me feel alive, and takes my mind off of myself for a little while.

And maybe, just maybe, the cold cap may keep my Brain from Exploding!

Love you all!

Mary

Benefit

My Niece, Tess Bellamy, and my sister, Teri Keeney, are holding a Benefit for me on July 23rd. My friend, Patty held one for me in May, and so I realize that some of you may have attended that one. However, that was the Memorial Day Weekend and a lot of people were out of town, etc.
This is just information for those of you who may want to attend this one:

Benefit for Mary LaBarre Krause
On July 23rd, 2011
1-5 pm
Spaghetti Dinner (with all the fixin's)
Adults $10 Children ages 2-11 $5.00
There will be door prizes and a silent auction.

Held at First Lutheran Church
463 Maria Ave
St. Paul, MN 55106

Tess Bellamy 651-724-0980 or Teri Keeney 651-724-0981

I would love to see anyone of you if you can come! I am expecting to be feeling quite well by then, and am planning to be there! Every day gets a little better and I am less sore. That is encouraging. The Benefit will happen shortly before I begin Radiation and Chemo. So I would love to see y'all before I start feeling yucky again.

Love you all!

Mary

A Good Day

Didn't have much to write about the past few days. The highlight of yesterday was Sandy coming over for a visit after she was done driving the school bus. We had a very fun visit. I always enjoy her company.

Rhonda, who grew up next door, was here visiting at her parent's house. She came over and offered to pull some weeds out of my front yard garden! That woman is a machine! My garden was being overtaken by some nasty, invasive weeds that were choking out my beautiful perrenials. Rhonda to the rescue!

Today felt like a turning point for me. I woke up kinda late, but I felt so much better than I have in weeks. The soreness under my arm was almost nothing. (This evening, it's a different story). In the meanwhile, I did a few little jobs around the house that did not involve any heavy lifting, and then my Brother-in Law, John, came over in the afternoon and did some major weeding in my back yard along the north fence. It now looks fabulous! That was such a big help. It would have taken me DAYS to do what he did in a few hours! (Not to mention that I probably would not be doing that kind of work at this time...too hard on my bad arm, and the knees, too). John, I appreciate it!

I also got a little shopping done...just household stuff from WalMart. It just felt good to do something "normal" for a change. Then we went to Gary's parent's house for dinner, and a rousing game of Sequence. Gary and Ralph were merciless. They beat us so bad. Thanks, Mom (Edith) for the wonderful meal, and the visit!

It is fun to begin to have things to look forward to again.

Love you All! Thanks for caring.

Mary

Improving Slowly

I am encouraged today, because my pain is minimal, and I am getting lots of rest. I have some swelling, which I expected might happen after the drain tube was removed, but it is manageable. Thank goodness there is currently no sign of infection. That makes the healing go faster!

I have been hanging out at home, (of course) and doing little "projects" like organizing my pills, and going through mail, and working on my homemade cards. These are all things I can do sitting down, with a minimum of movement, so they don't irritate the wounds.

I am not taking any pain killers today, and probably won't until bedtime, because they do help me to sleep soundly and get a good night's rest. Normally, if I slept as much as I have been during daylight hours, I would be very restless at night. The pain medication helps to keep that to a minimum, too.

I have had a few visitors, and this has saved my sanity. ...LOVE MY FRIENDS!!! "Keep those calls and letters comin' in, folks!" LOL! (That's an inside joke for those of you old enough to remember the Dean Martin Show)

More later,
Love you ALL!

Mary :)

Doctor Update

Went to see Dr. Schmidt my surgeon today. She took out the pesky drain tube. It was so irritated at the exit wound that she decided it would be better to let it heal. So now I'm on antibiotics for another week, and I have to keep an eye on it.

I'm having a bear of a time with the ace bandage I'm supposed to keep wrapped around me. The original one I got in the hospital is about 12 feet long, and goes around me four times. The hospital sent me home with a second one, and it is only about 5 feet long, and just does not stay in place. In fact, this long one I have on right now is wadding up on my back and driving me bonkers as I lay in bed! Doc gave me a prescription for 2 more bandages like my long one. Gary picked it up for me, and it's even shorter than the other one. AND, it is wide, but thin and will not stay put either, so I'm gonna have to get that exchanged so I can get the right kind.

As for the surgery, she took out 19 lymph glands, and 6 of them were cancerous. 4 were worse than the other 2. As for the main "lumps" She got a good margin healthy tissue around the tumors that had spread throughout the tissue. SO, I think that means she got it out, as far as is possible to tell.

Because of the number of lymph glands involved, I will need to have radiation, as well as chemotherapy...bummer. Now I just have to take it easy and heal. That is the hardest thing for me to do. I wanna DO stuff! Please pray for me to have patience with this process. I'm already losin' it...

Well, gotta go wrestle with this snake around me some more so I can sleep comfortably.

Love you ALL!

Mary

Out of Commission

OK ! UNCLE! I GIVE IN! SO I have to relent and take it at an even slower pace! I am lying on my back in bed as I type this....slow going. I have been moving around too much and have pulled on my draintube enough to cause it to be very irritated at the point where it exits my skin. My friend, Vicki, who is a nurse, came over last night to do some doctoring on it. It felt much better by morning, and it does fairly well as long as I remain still. What a drag! I am not a very patient patient!

I slept fairly well last night, and then continued to sleep until 11:00 this morning...and then a bit later on I took a three hour nap! (I guess I must have needed it)

There are so many MORE things I would rather be doing than lying around. I just hate it when I have time off work, and I'm not well enough to actually enjoy it! Yes, I realize I am whining.

On the brighter side, my surgery scar is healing quite well. I will be seeing my doctor tomorrow and will hopefully find out all the other details of the pathology report, etc. I do not have my hopes up about getting this drain tube out yet, because I am still "leaking" quite a bit, and so it is better to leave it in when that is the case. Healing is so much better when that stuff can get out quicker.

In the meanwhile, I will have to just lay here and watch some movies, and read my book, etc. If any of you have a mind to come visit me to keep me from going stark, raving MAD, please do. I always love to visit, and talking doesn't hurt me any! Please don't ever think you are bugging me.

The ladies at church have been faithfully bringing meals in each day since surgery, so I don't have to cook--(neither does Gary, thank goodness!) just kidding, Gare. LOL!

Well, tomorrow I shall have more to report. Until then, enjoy the beautiful weather out there!

Love you All!

Mary

Hooray for the Red, White and Blue

Happy Fourth of July, Everyone!

This has been one of my favorite celebrations throughout the years...perhaps because it is legal to blow stuff up without disturbing the peace and getting arrested!

Today, Gary and I got "outta Dodge". He took me for a ride in the country as per my request, and we spent the day enjoying the scenery. We headed towards Taylor's Falls, then up the Wisconsin side of the St. Croix River to Siren, and then back into Minnesota and home again. It was quite a long trip and I did well.

Then Casie came over in the evening and we ate supper together, and then went down the road to watch fireworks. We parked on the bridge on Egret St. over Hwy 10. It's a good vantage point from which to watch the Sandcreek Park Fireworks. Now home again, and I have to catch up on my email and blog. It was a good day...much better than yesterday.

Here's hopin' I don't pay for it tomorrow! LOL!

Hope your day was filled with Fun, Family and Fireworks!

Love you All!

Mary

A Day Of Rest

I always dream big! I had the idea last night that I would venture out of the house today and go to church. My friend from high school, (Jackie) who still lives in my old neighborhood, sent out an invitation to a BBQ at her home this afternoon. I figured that I would just go over there (Gary is doing the driving, of course!) after church.

I awoke this morning in a good deal of pain, and took my painkillers (see yesterday's blog), ate some breakfast, and fell asleep in the rocker in the living room. Gary woke me so I could go back to bed. I slept until about 2:00 in the afternoon! (must have needed it) So much for my big plans.

So, after sleeping, I worked on my computer for a time creating cards with my new program. It takes my mind off EVERYTHING ELSE. I never did get a chance to Skype with Tacy. :( Fiona keeps insisting on sleeping...just like Grandma.)

Christy Holt came by to visit this evening, and that was very pleasant. She is such a sweet person, and I enjoy her company.

Today being Sunday, I thought I'd share something of value. I have a book called, "You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought" by John Roger & Peter McWilliams:

"Most people live,

whether physically,

intellectually or morally,

in a very restricted circle of

their potential being.

They make use of a very

small portion of

their possible consciousness,

and of their soul's

resources in general,

much like a man who,

out of his whole

bodily oranism,

should get into a habit of

using and moving only

his little finger.

Great emergencies and crises

show us how much greater

our vital resources are than

we had supposed."

William James

I wish you had a wonderful Sunday, and of course, a Happy Fourth of July tomorrow!

Love you All!

Mary

The Problem with Painkillers...

Yes, there is one drawback to painkiller medicine...if it doesn't hurt, one has a tendancy to overdo it, (because it doesn't hurt). Today I pushed it a bit too far, and believe me, by my own standards, I felt like a slug...but the little bit of things I tried to do have left me feeling sore. So, I have to behave myself and get back to the chair and stay put for a few more days...aarrgghh!

Thankfully, I can do creative things on my computer, so that takes some of the boredom out of just sitting around.

Yesterday, Ben and Amanda were here to visit, and brought me some very pink flowers...quite striking! They are here in the den, where they keep me company as I write this.

This morning, Edith (Gary's Mom) stopped by. She brought the most beautiful plant--the leaves are a light pink with heather green, and a Willow Tree angel figurine called, "Healing Angel". We had such a fun visit! We ended-up in the den with the computer. I showed her my scrap book program. She is a creative type like myself, so she was fascinated with it, too.

Suz and Kim stopped to bring me some frozen "homemade" meals for later when the other meals stop coming, and fresh fruit! Mostly, I just enjoy the sweet company!

Then Heather and Richard and Macey came with tonight's dinner...Heather, that was awesome...beef and broccoli with rice...yum! Again, the visit was fun!

Later, Casie came to stay for a while, and that was nice, (even though I fell asleep on the couch while she and Gary watched NASCAR races)...it's my favorite sedative...(oh, look, theyr'e making a left turn...and another left turn and another left turn...I find it mind-numbing). For Gary, it holds another thrill altogether, [he just lives for the crashes] and I'm glad he enjoys it, as long as I am not required to stay awake! I find the drone of the motors to be a strong narcotic...snore...zzzzzz.

Casie just enjoys any kind of sport, and so they were cheering for their favorite drivers to win. All of this was lost on me, as I was deeply unconscious during the majority of the time. LOL!

So, goodnight dear friends, I am now going to take my dose of pain meds and go to sleep, and hopefully, I will feel up to going to church, even if just for the first hour. We shall see....I have to keep reminding myself that I just had major surgery...Casie certainly does!

Til next time,

Love You All,

Mary

Visitors

Yesterday (Thursday), I had three visitors! It really takes my mind off my worries about this and that...Sandy, my dear friend from work, and then Casie, who is one of my "Sassy Sisters", and then Chris, who used to work at Kottkes' driving bus, but moved "up" in the world to work for the school district with actual benefits, etc! I miss her at work, but it hasn't kept us from being beloved friends.

I have the most interesting and fun friends. Each of them are so individual and different, and I love them all so much! Sandy is my "big Sis", confidant, crafting buddy (more like craft-aholics!!! LOL!) She is a good listener, and I can always count on her for sage advice...(after all, she is older and wiser than I).

Then there's Casie...she is my "Lil' Sis" She keeps me young. I always tell her that I act immature so people will think I'm younger than I am! LOL!
She is also a strong woman, and full of spunk. She knows how to tell me "like it is" and I appreciate her honesty.

Mostly, though, I just love my friends because I have NO doubt that they love me (like all of you reading this!). They let me know constantly that they are concerned for me, and who can put a price tag on that? It's hard to feel too discouraged or down when there are such awesome people pulling for me. It is humbling, too, and I feel Blessed.

At suppertime on Wednesday, Gary and I worked side by side assembling a simple salad, and as we were devouring it, Georgia Garbow came by with homemade chicken pot pie and hot banana bread (yum). We saved the pot pie for Thursday nite, but did put a good-sized dent in the banana bread! Georgia is the Compasionate Service Leader at our church, and she has set up meals to be brought in for the whole next week! (And all of this while she is getting ready to go home to Hawaii for a family reunion!) ...take me with you, Georgia!...

Today, Patty Sharpe came by to visit me, and Helene Rudolph dropped-off supper for tonight (Friday) Thanks, Helene!!! She kept apologizing that it was a COLD supper...Rotisseried chicken and potato salad and dinner rolls with cheese cake for dessert. How could we possibly complain when people are so kind as to do this for us? Besides, I felt like I was having a picnic!

With the temperature over 100 degrees today, who in their right mind would want to be hanging around over a hot stove??? Gary gets so excited, because he loves not having to prepare something. Patty was laughing at him, and he said, "I just really like to eat!" (Not to mention that cheese cake is one of his all-time favorite desserts).

Oh, and lest I forget, Blanche, my next-door neighbor, who just happens to be a nurse and is a breast cancer survivor, came over to help me wrap my very LONG ace bandage around my "wound". What a lifesaver. She and Bob are two of the sweetest neighbors anyone could ever ask for! They would do anything for us in a heart-beat.

Well, this is where I have to quit for now. IF I have forgotten anyone, it is not that I am not appreciative...just brain-dead.

Love You All!

Mary

Home Alone...Almost

Today, Gary went back to work...he's only 5 minutes away, and with cell phones handy, he's only a short call away if I need him. But all was well. I slept soundly last night on my cushy new mattress cover. It's memory foam on top of the regular mattress...works great! No lights blinking, no loud beeping from the monitors...NO monitors...I slept well. Got up at 7 am and made my 2 minute microwave oatmeal. I am walking around the house well! It is so much easier to get up and down with my "new" knees.

Then I decided I needed a shower...badly, so I called a friend, Myrle, who came and stayed here with me while I showered, and then helped me put my ace bandage back on. I just thought it would be wiser to have someone else in the house...just in case. But I did not experience any problems with showering.

Gary installed a handrail to help me balance as I get in and out of the deep tub. And I found a shower chair in someone's front yard with a "free" sign on it last winter while I was driving my bus. That has been a big help for my knees, too! I used it on really bad days. Now, I just find it easier to deal with my drain tube, etc. sitting down.

He also put together a lunch for me for today, and all I had to do was heat it and eat it! So things are going much better than I could have imagined at this point. Whenever the pain gets sharp, I take my pain pills, and sit down and relax, and that takes care of it! Thank Heaven for Painkillers!

I got to Skype with Tacy and Fiona today, but my camera was not working for some reason (operator error) so I got to see them, but they couldn't see me. Fiona sang and danced for me...so cute! Thank Heaven for Computers with Skype!

I got some beautiful plants and flowers from Sandy & Phyllis, from Kottkes' (my employer) and Gary's employer, RMS, and Aunt Pat. Thank you everyone for your kindness, and prayers!

Love you all,

Mary

Over the First Hurdle

I am home from the hospital! What a relief! I have to admit, I thought I was going to be sick from the anestetia, and very sore and in pain, but my doctors did an amazing job of managing all of that! I am blessed.

Yes, there is some discomfort, but compared to the gall bladder surgery 6 years ago, this was a cake walk. I never had one moment of nausea, and no severe dizziness, etc. The pain medicine I am taking is working well, and I think all of the anestetic is out of my system...I have been drinking a lot of water, and they were giving me an IV of Saline, etc. at the hospital.

I have a drain in, but it seems to be doing it's job well. That will stay in until I see my surgeon for a post op visit next Thursday. Then I will hang out and wait until July 27th to see the oncologist. I am not allowed to lift anything over 15 pounds with my left arm. I barely notice the portacath in my right shoulder at this point. Most of my discomfort happens if I bend forward and try to reach for something. Gary has been helping me a lot so I don't have to do much of that kind of motion. I am supposed to get up and walk around some, and that seems easy, too. SO, my prognosis is that I am going to make it!

Thank you all for your prayers and well-wishes. I was certainly buoyed up by them, because I have felt so calm through this.

Love you all!

Mary

Ten...Nine...Eight...

Time for the countdown. I shall have to get up early to be at the hospital by 7am. (Not my favorite thing, it's a lot like going to work!) It has really been helpful to me to be going into this with a relaxed state of mind.

I have had SO many people express their love and concern and offering prayers on my behalf, and there is just NO WAY I can feel down. I feel so encouraged, and at peace. I know this is just something I HAVE to go through and there is just no getting around it. I intend to take it one day at a time. That way it doesn't seem so overwhelming. Besides, I have a whole month after the surgery to recuperate and rest!

So please don't make yourselves scarce. I enjoy hearing from you all. I think of you too, you know, and wonder what's up in your lives. Please keep me distracted! LOL! I have a laptop I can use in bed, so I WILL be checking my Facebook and email, etc.

Blessings and Love to you ALL!

Mary

Counting Down the Hours...

One day to go...this has seemed like an eternity! I am feeling a kind of numb calmness now. I have worked hard to keep myself distracted this week so I would not think about what's coming too much. I really do appreciate all my good friends who have contributed to my distraction! It sure was fun hanging out with you all!

On Friday, I went up to St. Cloud with Sandy, Phyllis, and Chris. We went to Crafts Direct. It's a store the size of WalMart with nothing but CRAFT supplies in it! I was truly in my happy place! Then we joined Sandy's daughter, Sherri for lunch at Granite city, then headed back to the cities.

In the evening, I joined Suzanne at her house while she had the young women over for camp certification. They built a campfire, and cooked shish-kabobs, and corn on the cob and baked muffins inside hollowed-out oranges. Of course, there were marshmallows for roasting, too. John and Kim kept us entertained, and Michelle, Casie and Dorothea were there.

I was so bushed from the day trip, I fell asleep on Suz' couch for two hours, even with all the mayhem around me (I didn't hear a thing!)

Today I had a last-minute call from my doctor's office to come in and have a re-check on my shingles. For a while there, I was sweating bullets, worried he was going to call off the surgery because I still have a few marks on my back. The ones in the front have gone away. He called and talked with my surgeon, and they decided to let me go in on Monday morning and Dr. Schmidt will determine whether she thinks I am good to go ahead with the procedure.

Alright, already! I just want to get this over with! SOON!

Tonight (Saturday) Gary and I stayed home and watched a movie and had a very nice date night. We talked about what's ahead, and I think we are as ready as we can be. He is being so supportive and kind. I truly appreciate it! Tomorrow will hopefully be somewhat restful, even though I feel I still have some last-minute things to prepare.

I have to be at the hospital early Monday morning so they can poke and prod me some more before surgery.

I believe everything will turn out fine. This is just a Bump in the Road, not the End of the Road...

Love you all!

Mary

Incommunicado

Several of you have mentioned that you wanted to post a comment to me here on my blog, but couldn't get through the technical part...I can understand that. It took me a number of trys before I could comment on my daughter's blog, too. I am not saavy enough to explain the process to you, but I can give you some alternatives.

Just go on on my Facebook Page (Mary LaBarre Krause) and send me a note if you wish...I LOVE to hear from you! If you aren't on Facebook, then send me an email to marykrause@hotmail.com

It really bolsters my courage to hear your comments!

Love you all!

This is FOR SURE

Here's the schedule:

Monday, June 27th 9:00am at St. John's Hospital in Maplewood : surgery

Tuesday, (not sure what time) go home to recuperate for four weeks

July 27th : Appointment with the oncologist to plan radiation and chemo.

I am very happy with my choices of surgeon and oncologist! Things are looking UP!

Love you ALL!

Mary

Checking out Oncology

Today was a good day. I got up and did all my exercises, and did a few things around the house, and then met Diane and Angie to tour the oncology facility over by Mercy Hospital. I even got to meet my oncologist in the hallway. I did not have a formal appointment with her. I had to laugh at myself (I get plenty of opportunities to do that!) Her name is Nagargoje. I assumed I would be meeting a Japanese person by the sound of the name, but she is actually of Indian (India) descent.

Not that it matters in the least, I just had to laugh at that. It was a very nice tour, and Diane got to say hi to alot of the people she knew so well when her friend, Lisa was going through this. I was impressed with the facility, and the friendliness of the people who work there.

It was just plain fun to spend a couple of hours with Diane and Angie, too!

I went home and worked on organizing my room some more...finding places to put everything. I just want to keep busy for the next week, while I wait for surgery.

My niece, Tess called this evening, and wants to do another Benefit for me over at her church in St. Paul. She is planning a spaghetti dinner and a silent auction. I am speechless.

I continually feel so blessed.

Love and Blessings to you all!

Mary

ANOTHER Change in Plans...

Saturday we moved my bedroom from the downstairs room to upstairs, and changed the computers around, too, so that I now have the den upstairs for mine, and Gary's computer is downstairs. Gary has been a sweetheart and is helpful in every way...Thanks, Gary!

Thank Goodness for Ben, who came in the morning and made the transition so easy! He unhooked all the wires and cables and had everything up and running in such a short time. I am sure Gary and I would still be scratching our heads, trying to figure out what goes where, and wondering why we can't get on the internet. What a relief.....THANKS BEN!!!!

Happy Fathers' Day to all you Dads out there!

I got a call from my surgeon about her discussion with my oncologist. The surgery WILL come first, after all. She is working on getting me scheduled for Monday, June 27th. It will be at St. John's Hospital in Maplewood now, instead of St. Paul. I don't know any details yet, but will let you all know when I hear.

I am so relieved to have such an attentive physician. It is so amazing to me to deal with a doctor directly, and not through a clinic! She is my kind of Doc.

So now, after all the switching around, I am back to the original plan, just a week later. I'm at the point where I just want this to be over and done, so I can quit thinking about it. It is so much easier to deal with reality, as opposed to my imagination and over-thinking everything.

My oncologist is at Mercy Hospital Clinic, and I chose her on the recommendation of a friend- Diane, and because it is only 15 minutes from home, instead of a half hour. I will be taking a tour of the facility on Monday with Diane. I probably won't have an appointment with the oncologist until a few weeks after my surgery.

I feel like I am making some progress in cleaning out my clutter here at home. This is a good feeling, and I am ready to unload things I won't be using. It has been a blessing to be home these past few weeks to focus on myself and to have time to do what I need to do to feel ready to face what's ahead.

It was also a special treat to see the videos of Tacy's new place... just a beautiful location. Can't wait to visit out there! Fiona is growing so fast, and every day she knows more words! Chuck posted a picture of him and Fiona on a carosel. Tacy said after one ride around, she gave the hand-sign for "more" so Daddy took her for another ride. So Sweet!

Of course, I also enjoy my "other grandchild", Brutus the Bulldog. Beth posts the cutest videos and pictures of him on her Facebook. Makes me smile.

Doug (Gary's brother) and Liza met us at Outback and we had dinner together. Then we continued the visit at home. That was a special treat today, after a long day of moving stuff around.

I feel SO supported and loved by all my friends, and I so appreciate all the well-wishes and prayers. I am truly blessed to know so many wonderful people, who have been there for me at just the right moments.

Love You All,

Mary :)

Doctor Call

I don't remember WHEN a doctor ever called me directly, let alone several times now. Today Dr. Schmidt called me again to discuss how she wants to proceed with my treatment. I really appreciate her letting me in on what she is thinking on my behalf. Most of my other clinics send phone messages, or mail letters to me about such things, or when I call their offices, I have to go through a lot of recordings, and pushing numbers to [hopefully] find out what I need to know.

She had a conference with a number of other surgeons & oncologists. There is a new approach to my kind of cancer which is working well and getting good results. That is, getting chemotherapy started BEFORE the surgery. The advantage of this is that it shrinks the cancer and makes it more defineable as they go in to remove it.

SO, next Tuesday, when I was scheduled for my mastectomy--which I cannot have due to my shingles, I will have a port put under the skin on my right shoulder. This creates an easy entry for administering the chemo frequently without constantly being stuck with needles.

As of today, the Surgeon and the Oncologist have not connected, and they will have to work out the details of when my surgery can be done.

I spent some time getting aquainted with my new laptop, and then went out with my girlfriends to a movie this evening. Thank Goodness for my Dear Friends! Love you ALL!

Mary