Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Getting Better...I Think

Today I felt very well. I went to work for a short time, and made a nice dinner for us. The day was busy, but not hectic. My knees are still feeling ok due to the steroids. I'm sure there will be a price to pay for that down the road. But I am enjoying being able to walk with a minimal amount of pain and discomfort.

I suppose there comes a point where you work a lot of the poison out of your system, and I seem to have reached that. So, perhaps I will continue to feel better and better until my next treatment on the 9th. I have certainly gained a new appreciation for having a "good day".

Still no sign of hair loss yet. I am going to get my hair cut really short on Friday. I am not willing to fully shave it off until it actually begins to fall out. Seeing is believing, in this case.

Love to ALL!

Mary :)

Monday, August 29, 2011

Monday Again

The start of a new week. It is good to have a beginning and an end, especially when you are waiting for something. I am glad the time seems to be passing quickly right now, because, it helps me feel like this won't be forever. Even though I cannot say that I am ever Bored, there are times when the day drags on, and I look forward to it's end.

Yesterday felt like that, and then even into the night, I was awakened all night by weird dreams, and restless thoughts. Just hoping to feel better, I guess. I got up and went to work this morning at 6 am. Mainly, because I wanted to do another something "normal", and I want to know what my limits are in relation to this treatment. I can drive just fine, but when I came back to the base, I was overwhelmed by tiredness, so I went to sleep slumped over a table, and then, when I awoke from the first 'nap' went out to my car and slept for two more hours, until I had to go take the kids back home.

Then, I returned home to sleep for four more hours! Gary made a good suggestion for dinner and got it started, and then I finished it. We had chicken and broccoli, one of our favorites. That made it easy to eat. My taste buds are a bit more selective now, although I don't feel like I've had a loss of appetite (shucks, I was hopin'...lol).

At 9:30 pm I left the house to go down and pick up my friend, Casie, at the airport. That also went fine. I do ok when I am occupied. And I love being useful to people I love. Everyone is so kind and generous to me, and I like to pay it forward.

Well, I am finally nodding off again, so I will go to bed.

Until next time,

Love to ALL!

Mary


Sunday, August 28, 2011

And SO It Goes

Friday was a gift. Saturday I was a bit under the weather, feeling a bit nauseated, but the meds took care of that. I stuck around the house mostly, and did my laundry, and worked on my cards. Nothing too exciting.

Today, ( Sunday) I stayed home and slept nearly all day. I kept taking my anti-nausea meds, and took some Tylenol when the aches got bad. I won't dare complain, because I know it could always be worse! I count myself blessed, not to have to be completely laid-up with this. I will take every good day that comes.

I have no idea if this will intensify with each treatment, but I can only do it one day at a time.
All I can do is hope for the best!

Love to All!

Mary

Friday, August 26, 2011

Day Two of First Chemo

I must say, I am astounded! I do not feel sick at all!!! In fact, my knees don't hurt as much as they usually do, and I think that is because they gave me a steroid to ease the chemo symptoms. I feel tired, but not run-down. I spent my day out in my yard, repotting some plants, and pulling weeds again. Gary cut the legs off of a stool for me and it is just the perfect height for gardening and pulling weeds. I was in the shade all day, though. It was rather warm during the afternoon. I drank a lot of water while I was out there, too.

I have NO idea how I will feel tomorrow, and I can only take it one day at a time. But I consider today a MIRACLE, so THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR PRAYERS AND POSITIVE THOUGHTS MY WAY!!!!! I believe they all make a difference!

I got a shot this afternoon that is supposed to help my white blood cell count from getting too low. So I can keep some immunity. That was nothing, but of course they gave me a list of possible side effects, so we shall see. One of them is pains in the bones. I am not sure how I would be able to notice, because of my arthritis...so no big whoop.

Now I am going to go downstairs to my craft corner and work on my greeting cards. It's my other "happy place'.

LOVE TO ALL!!

Mary

Thursday, August 25, 2011

First Day of Chemotherapy

I have to admit, I was filled with intrepidation about this outcome, and I was trying to put on a brave face [though not too successfully, I might add] Inwardly, I was a total wreck! I had built my hopes up so far against chemo and I was not mentally prepared to accept the probability of having to go through it. [I am better now.] I have had another attitude adjustment.

Because I have an overwhelming desire to stay alive and watch my Grandchildren grow up and to have a chance to paint my masterpiece someday [hopefully soon], I opted for the Chemo. So now it begins in earnest!

Gary left work early and so did I, and we met at home and drove to the Clinic together. He was very upset, because his manager was hassling him about having to leave...! [even though Gary warned him previously that this was BOUND TO HAPPEN during the course of my cancer treatments. It took him a while to settle down. NO ONE likes to be talked to like an "underling". He felt belittled and I do not say as I blame him.

Oh well, we soon became busy getting educated about chemo treatment. Ashley was our nurse and she was very pleasant. She explained everything very thoroughly, and when she didn't have an answer for our questions, she promptly found others who did.

The Port for the IV is a lifesaver! I used the Lidocaine to numb it for one hour before I arrived, and barely felt the pinch of the needle [they use a fairly large needle for this, so it really hurt the first time they flushed the port and took some blood samples]. I was happy to find my blood pressure was normal...127 over 69. It seems everytime I go to get my DOT physical for driving the school bus, it comes off as high. Maybe they intimidate me and raise it! LOL

She took blood, then gave me anti-nausea meds, then a steroid too, we had to wait a bit after that injection. Then she put in a bright red chemo drug in a syringe [still through the port]...I referred to that one as "Kool-Aid! then flushed the port, and started the last chemo bag. That took a whole hour by itself. In all, we were there three hours.

I never did experience any severe side effects TODAY. I noticed a strong chemical odor when she was using the saline to flush the port, but I did not taste a "metallic" taste during the chemo. I was actually quite relaxed during the procedure and was looking at cardmaking files that Sandy L. shared with me. I still have a lot more of them to see....so I'll save them for next time.

I was disappointed that I could not connect to the internet in there. I was so looking forward to browsing. But, I shall have to settle for my own programs, and bring a DVD to watch next time.
I am tired now, and am going to go to bed. I only have a slight headache, so that is tolerable for now. We shall see what tomorrow brings.

One Down, Seven to GO!

My next time will be in two weeks. Here goes nothing!

I appreciate all the prayers and positive thoughts! Catch me also on Facebook as Mary LaBarre Krause. I know some of you are having no luck trying to leave me comments here. And I am Not saavy enough to explain you through the process...sorry.

Love to all!

Mary

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Hang ON! It's gonna get REALLY BUMPY!

I was feeling so normal today...I got up very early and went to work!!! Never thought I'd feel so excited about that, but it felt so "Normal". I drove the school bus for the first time in 3 months. It was just like getting back on a bike.

The middle school students (just the sixth graders) had their orientations today. We had to run the regular route, bring them to school and then take them back home several hours later.

When that was all done, I waited for my 3:00 appt. with my Oncologist. The results of my Onco-Test were back. She spent some time in the past few days consulting with other Doctors, too.

Their collective consensus was that I should have chemo. Mainly because I am "young", and they feel it would greatly reduce my chances of a re-occurance. I was not aware that IF there is a re-occurance of my kind of cancer, it will be a stage 4 [which is incurable]. Faced with that eventuality, I will choose to have chemo, because it will up my chances for getting rid of this.

I can't say as I am happy about this outcome. On the way home from the visit, I felt shaky and scared. I tried to call several friends. No one was answering their phone. I felt very alone, and so just went straight home. Gary listened, and is going to come with me to the first treatment. I think he feels as upset about all this as I do. It is scary for him, as well.

So, I will go to my meetings for the bus drivers tomorrow and get my in-service training, and then I will head over to the Clinic at 12:30. It will take about 3 hours for the IV to go in. Then I have to return on Friday at 4 pm for a shot...I think that one is for anti-nausea.

In the meanwhile, I am just plain nervous about how this will all affect me. I HATE being sick! and tired, and nauseated, and achey. YUCK!

I will have treatments every two weeks, and will have 4 treatments, and then will discuss with the Doctor if I can continue on to the next 4 treatments, so that makes 8 in all.

Two weeks after the chemo ends, I will begin six weeks of radiation, five days a week.

Then, I will begin a regimen of hormone suppression pills that I will have to take for five years!

After five years, if there is no return of cancer that is a good sign. But it takes ten years cancer-free for them to say I am "cured". It will be a LONG HAUL!!!

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. I'm not out of the woods yet.

Love you all!

Mary

Sunday, August 21, 2011

What a Wonderful Weekend!

I started celebrating my birthday on Friday...My girlfriend, Sandy Larson, and I spent the day together, and had lunch, went shopping and talked our heads off. It was fabulous! PLUS, it was a beautiful day, so that was just a BONUS. In the evening, Gary and I went to Sammy's for pizza, and then watched a movie we rented.

On Saturday, I went out in my garden all day and trimmed bushes and pulled weeds. I was so happy to be outside in my "Happy Place". Again, the weather was perfect. In the evening, I went over to Suz Dorney's house and had BBQ'd steak, sweet potatoes, salad and eclairs (with a lit candle on it) and a rendition of "Happy Birthday" sung to me by Suz, Kim, Rylee, and the Harpers in Seattle on speakerphone! We sat out on the screened-in deck (so NO mosquitos!) and listened to the rain come down...that was sweet.

Sunday morning, got up and ready and went to Gary's Mom's house for a gathering of all his available siblings and their kids. It was a fabulous day. Mom served brunch...it was great! Again, another perfect day....LIFE DOESN'T GET MUCH BETTER THAN THIS...until I head out west to see my daughter and granddaughter(s), of course.

I feel so blessed!

Still waiting on word for the Onco Test from CA. The results will go to my oncologist.

Love you all!

Mary :)

Monday, August 15, 2011

Another Update...

I got a call from the California Lab that is doing the tests on my cancer tissue sample...
They just got the sample today! They did not receive the paperwork order until last Thursday. So NOW, it is another 7-10 days until they will have results to send to my oncologist. Tick, tick, tick, tick.....oh my goodness.

And STILL Waiting

I was so hopeful that I was going to hear from my oncologist today...nope, not yet. This is frustrating, to say the least... just got to keep busy with other things.

It was Gary and my 33rd Anniversary Sunday. On Saturday, we took a car trip up to the cabin we usually rent...the owner, Bill, invited us to come up for a short visit. It was so nice to be up there, in the clean air, gentle wind blowing off the lake, and good company. On our way home we stopped at the Casino in Danbury for an inexpensive, but very nice Steak and Lobster dinner! What a nice way to spend the day.

Love you all!

Mary

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

No News Yet

I have still not heard back from my oncologist about the test that was done in California on my tissue sample. The results of that test will determine whether or not my kind of cancer will respond to chemotherapy or not.

So, I am just in holding pattern, waiting for the phone to ring...

Love you all,

Mary

Friday, August 5, 2011

What a Day!

I attended a class about chemotherapy and it's possible effects...not too encouraging.

That lasted one and a half hours. I must admit, that while it was chock full of information, it left me feeling anxious about the whole process... They did not seem to mention any favorable side effects...just a long litany of bad ones, and none of them are any fun---

Nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite
Tiredness, severe fatigue, loss of interest
Constipation or it's opposite--
Diarrhea, with the associated discomforts and possible dehydration
Fever or chills
Hot Flashes...(YAY)...just when I thought that was all over with!
Skin Rashes, infections
Mouth sores
Sore, achey muscles and bones
Weakness overall
Possible Heart Damage
Kidney Damage
Liver Damage
Brain Damage (I doubt that would be noticeable!)
Internal Organ Damage,
Etc. etc. etc.

On the UP Side, I did manage to leave with a prosthetic breast, though, and that helped me feel more "normal" about my physical appearance.

An hour later, I went to Mercy Hospital for a MUGA Test. I have no idea what that stands for. They put an IV in my right arm, because they had to take my blood, inject it with radioactive particles, and re-inject it into my arm again. They could not use the IV port I have in my shoulder, because he said the radioactive material will clog the port hoses.

I had to wait a half hour for the radioactive material to do it's thing, and then I went in for the MUGA test, which consists of laying on my back, very still for three 15 minute segments. I had to keep my arms above my head, so that got to be uncomfortable. It seemed like three hours! This test gives them a "picture" or reading of my normal heart activity, so they have something to compare with during the chemo process. I was not excited to know that chemo can cause heart problems...

At the end of the testing, the young tech. took the IV out of my arm and had me hold a piece of gause on it for a minute, put a piece of surgical tape over it, then instructed me to finish getting my shoes on, etc. and he would direct me out the door to the lobby. As I was bent down, tying my shoe, I felt something wet on my arm, and my arm (and my nice blouse) were drenched in blood! So he had to clean off what he could and put another, larger, tighter bandage on my arm.

I have a nasty-looking set of bruises under the skin on my arm now. I have never had this happen in all my years, so I was quite shocked at it! I drove home, sat still for a while and then removed the bandage. It is fine now, except for the bruises.

Well, next week I will most likely be seeing my Oncologist, so will fill you in on that, when it happens.

I will be needing someone to come with me on my first visit, so I will most likely bring Gary, and then we shall know how I handle the treatments, and whether I can drive myself to and from.
I have some girlfriends who have volunteered to come along, but everyone is so busy with their own lives, work and all. We shall see.

While I was typing this, the Postman came to the door and delivered a package from my cousin, Eleanor, who is a survivor of this same type of breast cancer. She sent me some books of encouragements, a Survivor T-Shirt, and two beautiful scarves. As if that was not enough, she apologized for not attending the Benefit [because her husband was having a serious health issue] and included a check! I am always over whelmed by peoples' generosity! Thanks, Eleanor.

That's it for now,
Love you ALL!

Mary :)

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

RADIATION

I went to meet the Radiation Doctor today. They gave me an overview of the proceedure. I will not begin radiation until two weeks after I finish with Chemotherapy. I still don't have any dates for the Chemo, because we are waiting for the results of a new test they have to determine more specific treatment.

Radiation will involve 5 days a week, for 20 minutes per treatment, for six weeks. ...NOT looking forward to that...especially because it burns the skin and causes a lot of damage. But, I gotta do what I gotta do...

The reason I have to have Radiation, as well as Chemo and Anti-Hormone Therapy is because of the lymph glands involved. The radiatin treatments are supposed to target other lymph glands in the area, especially above the [missing] breast and under the arm.

Will let you know when I know more. I probably won't know more about Chemo treatments until next week. In the meanwhile, I have to find a lymphodemia specialist, because I am beginning to have swelling in my arm from all the lymph glands that were removed. If it's not one thing, it's something else...LOL!

Love you all!

Mary